Cows Are Like Sooo Delicious!

“THIS PIZZA COULDN’T HAVE BEEN MADE WITHOUT HELP FROM STELLA, EDNA, ABIGAIL, ESTELLE AND NANCY.”

Truer words have never been said. At least as far as Dominos Pizza goes, but to be fair they’ve never taken their words all too seriously.

dominos_cows

 

Deep down I honestly appreciate the adorable cartoon cows that adorn the tops of Domino’s well thought out pizza boxes. Yet, at the same time I can’t help but fight the urge to repeatedly punch myself in the face and rub sweet globs of hot gluten right in my eyeballs every time I see one. Now that’s a powerful pizza box.

But why? Why must you hate! 

It’s not that I don’t appreciate a good melty blob of 100% real mozarella so tasty that I’ll forget pizza occasionally has other toppings. It’s just that this particular box contained a large Double Sausage carryout special. I can only hope these particular sausages chunks that topped my pizza were made with Edna, Abigail, and Nancy. But what guarantee do I really have!? I don’t now why, but based off the illustrations they just look like the the most delicious cows from this star-studded team. For all I know though, their names could have been Norman, Hb24a, or something even more traditional like Bessie. God damnit, I bet Bessie is like super tasty. I digress…

I really shouldn’t be giving Dominos a hard time, because if they can supply enough cheese to their entire franchise from just five cows, then holy shit they could literally be the most efficient dairy producer on the entire planet. These 5 cows could solve world hunger. If that’s the case, then I better start sticking to the spinach and mushroom.

 

 

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